Thanks for Putting Up With My Oddness

I honestly dont think I'll ever understand how some people will ever look back at their high school years and see them as a positive, non-scarring, and all around pleasant experience. Of course I understand not everyone's high school years are going to be the same story, but I think we can agree we've all experienced being a social outcast at some point, and the hell of coming to grips that you may never truly be that super popular, well liked, and always involved student that all schools claim you'll be. If you are or were one of those students, congratulations. I envy you. Seriously. I wish I was one of those people. Even now I still kind of do. I always like to imagine myself as this David Tennant Doctor Who/Sherlock Holmes (pick any version) mix, when in reality I'm probably more like Peter Parker. The Tobey Maguire version. Yeah, that level of derpiness. What I enjoy about college is that college praises diversity. You can be yourself and people don't give you any nonsense about it. High school, from my perspective, seemed like you had to be what everyone expected of you. When I'd try to be what people wanted me to be, I became the target of ridicule and teasing. When I gave up on trying to conform with everyone else and be myself, the situation still didn't change. I sometimes wonder if the reason college appreciates you being more diverse is because people grew up and realized being the same was boring and did more damage than it did good. Whenever I look back or am reminded of the less than stellar parts of my high school career I can't help but feel anxious and uncomfortable. I still clench up at the mere thought. I had an experience yesterday when I was with a group of students and I felt almost invisible, unable to speak or move out of anxiety. Thankfully back then I knew people who helped me make it through those years and I am extremely grateful to them. I'm getting better at letting go of those memories and trying to focus on the present, as well as being more open about things. Thank you for putting up with my oddness.